Stripping sounds like a good alternative at this point.

Location: The deepest pits of Hell
Time: 12:41 AM
Date: July 19th

I am not one to listen to a Katy Perry song and feel a connection to it. As hard as I try, I never quite feel "like a plastic bag drifting in the wind" or "like a house of cards, one blow from caving in." I mean, don't get me wrong. This is clearly a lyrical masterpiece worthy of winning a Nobel Peace Prize, but somehow, I just don't ever feel like it's speaking to me. That was until yesterday, as I drove to meet a friend at lunch to discuss how to fix my life falling apart. There I was, listening to the radio and then I heard it: "If you only knew what the future holds, after a hurricane comes a rainbow. Maybe your reason why all the doors are closed, so you could open one that leads you to the perfect road." Katy Perry, what is this?!?! Did you reach into my soul to pull out that verse? I know perfectly well what my future holds. EMORY. SUCCESS. HAPPINESS. LITTLE ASIAN KIDS RUNNING AROUND. BEING A SURGEON. Paying for college will be my hurricane, but I know that a rainbow will come after it. I just gotta rough it out, y'know? Doors closed or not, I will blow everything out of my way and everything. will. be. fine.

That being said, I did ride four hours to Atlanta to go talk to the Financial Aid office. Uh, aid? More like abuse. I thought the point was to help me pay for college. They pretty much told me I was SOL because I didn't do the CSS Profile. Like, what even? Not only did both of my parents not go to college, but let's add in the fact that they're not even from this country. Oh, and let's add the fact that I'm an only child and I have no idea how to do any college stuff. Does it look like I knew I had to fill that junk out? To be fair, I TRIED filling it out, but apparently, I need to petition and waive to prove to Emory that I don't know my dad. Girl stop. I am so beyond offended at this point. Oh well, I just finished filling that out and I will forever pray that I will get some sort of money from it. If not, I'll still be fine. I still have to apply for a loan and after that, life will be fine and I will be fine and everyone will be fine and the world will be fine.

So, these past few days have been crazy/hectic/hell for me. Little did I know a few nights ago that my world would practically be flipped upside down. I was expecting a quaint little night watching a movie on Netflix and then BOOM! WHAT? WE CAN'T PAY FOR COLLEGE? SHUT UP, YOU LYING. And although, that problem is still being situated, it's much closer to being fixed. This is where I will give out shoutouts to everyone who have listened to me complain/bitch/moan/whine/cry/yell. Thanks Hatel for telling me everything will be fine in the end and enduring me turning into crazy Johnny, where all I do is yell and hate the world. In the end, we didn't get "DA MONEY," but I will be fine! Thanks to Fantasia for spitting out knowledge about loans like a pro and helping me get my life on track. Girl, you know I'm Chinese and I don't know anything about this stuff. Thanks to Beth for being my goon and listening to me be Ghetto Johnny where my speaking voice is a constant scream and making me laugh when I felt like forever crying. Thanks to Heather for listening to me talk about the randomest things, including America's Got Talent and past crushes, instead of focusing on more pressing matters, like my life. Thanks to Erin for being the wonderful little hipster she is and being there for me. AND THANKS TO AMAAN FOR BEING THE FREAKING BEST ROOMIE EVER. EMORY AIN'T READY FOR US. "DA ROOMIE." LMFAOOO. You guys are really the best and I would've been an emotional wreck without you guys!

If I was Harry Potter. Paying for Emory is Voldemort. AND WE ALL KNOW HOW THAT STORY ENDED...

xxxjohnny.

Confessions of a broke and soon to be in debt college student.

Location: MY HOUSE
Time: 1:54 AM
Date: July 17th

Okay life, let's have a talk. Where should we start? I know we struggled a bit about applying to college. Not only do I not know what I want to do with my life, but I also didn't know where to go. In the end, I figured I would be fine with UGA. Right? WRONG. You had to introduce me to Emory... well, to be fair, it was more of my parents' fault. So, here I was, applying to Emory. Now, I knew not to get my hopes up. I mean, Emory is a pretty bad ass school full of smart people, practically the hardest in Georgia (no offense to anyone else). I mean, I'm smart, sure, but I am definitely no genius. You're talking about the guy who spends half of class painting people's nails, doing hair or secretly watching Youtube videos on his phone. I admit, 95% of me was expecting to get a "BOY, SIT YO BUTT DOWN AND GO TO UGA." response from Emory. After getting my acceptance letter from UGA, I no longer had shame in my game. Here I am, ready to live it up in Athens.

BUT.... you accepted me. After pooping my pants from shock and celebrating, I felt amazing. I felt like everything I had worked for paid off and this was just a sign to show it. After being on the Emory website at least 123,593,403 times to make sure I was prepared, finishing a schedule and picking classes that took days to do, and countless other things, I was ready to take on the world. A little over a month left and my life would begin...

No. That's what you decided to toy with me. All of a sudden, you want to make my parents say "WE DON'T HAVE MONEY FOR COLLEGE. LOL, GO BACK TO UGA." What kind of games are you playing, life? Does this amuse you? Because I am anything but amused. Suddenly, you gave me the fate of whether I go to college or not. So, here I sit, researching everything I can about student loans and aid. You may think you have won this time, but you will be proven wrong. In case you forgot, I have conquered many tasks. Let us not forget how I beat out 7 people in a semester to be third in my class, or that time I got my IB diploma after two years of Hell, who else was it that made "poop" an acceptable word amongst friends? And Y2K? Yeah, you're welcome, world. The end of the world was no match for me. So, miracles do happen. And I consider this just one more task to accomplish. Pssh... $50,000 a year? Do better next time. How about $5 million a month along with my firstborn? Life. You. Are. Going. Down.

Maybe, I'm over-reacting. Maybe this is all just a part of Post-Potter Depression. Maybe, I'm just too busy mourning the loss of Lavender Brown, but trust and believe that I will win in the end.

So, in conclusion, everything will be fine. Even if I have little meltdowns along the way.

xxxjohnny