Rain is the devil.

Location: Outside Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam
Time: 8:24 AM
Date: June 7th

Fact: No matter where I am, I will ALWAYS hate rain. Always.

Yesterday was super fun! I was told that we were going to a park, so here I am, expecting to go to a quaint little park where people are having picnics, playing with their dogs, jogging around, etc... But no, no one bothered to tell me that we were going to a theme park. The theme park was pretty cool. It had crazy, elaborate designs and decorations. We walked around the park a bit and it was WAY bigger than I imagined.

Eventually, we reached this one section of the park where they were selling all kinds of different fruits. They also had these huge sculptures made completely out of fruits. While we were walking around this area, I heard some drums beating in the distance. I followed the beat and that's when I saw the most mind-effing thing ever: a parade. In the middle of the theme park. And it wasn't just a simple little parade. It was a giant one with a marching band, five different groups of dancers and like 20 floats of giant fruits. I was completely bamboozled, but it all made sense when I found out it was the Fruit Festival.

After that, everyone (minus my mom because she had to film every fruit and sculpture in the world) went into this one underground ride thing. We had no idea what it was, but it seemed cool. Surprise! It was a haunted house. I still have no idea wtf it was supposed to be, but there were cavemans and egyptian stuff...

Then we had lunch and my stomach was totally GEWAUPOFDUAF at this point and I wanted to go home. It got better after a bit and we decided to go into another hauntd house. Once again, I have no idea what it was supposed to be, but the waiting line was scarier than the actual ride... The next thing we went to was a dolphin/seal show. I thought it would be ghetto, but it was actually enjoyable. When we got out, I saw that it had been raining. Next, we trekked onto another ride. Once again, no idea what it was, but my mom told me it was a representation of hell. Uhm.... yeah. Vietnam has pretty interesting attractions.

This was the point where God decided to flood the earth. Rain was everywhere. I wanted to go home, but my mom was all NO. So, I was like FML. We walked in the rain to the temple and stayed in there for a while. When it got better, we decided to book it out of there and get a cab home before it started raining again.

When I got home, I slept forever.

xxxjohnny.

Eat. Pray. Sleep?

Location: Outside Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam (My Uncle's house)
Time: 6:04 AM
Date: June 6th

These past few days have been too much for my poor little soul, but I'll start from the beginning.

Day 1:
Basically after I arrived at the house, I knocked out like a beast. I pretty much slept that whole afternoon/evening. I blame jet lag. Of course, I ended up waking at 3 in the morning with my mom. We ended up watching tv, unpacking, being creeps around the house. Just the norm.

Day 2:
This was the first full day where I was in Vietnam. I just relaxed all day. Took a shower, which was an experience because the shower was just a fountain in the middle of the room. So basically, whenever the whole bathroom was my shower. I didn't know how to turn the hot water on, so I was stuck with a cold one. How I survived? I don't know. During the evening, we decided to go around the city. I thought we would be taking a cab. WRONG. We had to trek it around. Now, let me tell you something about Vietnam traffic. Whenever you decide to be in the streets, you play a game of russian roulette. There are seriously no rules at all. No stop signs. No speed limits. Traffic lights are barely followed. Cars and motorcycles are EVERYWHERE. Crossing the street is a life-changing experience. Basically, you just walk across and pray that you don't get hit. The funnny thing about Vietnam is that you will be surrounded by all these little raggidy street stores and then you'll turn a corner and be facing all these fancy upscale stores with thousands of floors. We went to a mall and it was basically a giant room with each shop having a little section where they put their clothes up. There were all familiar stores and brands like Papaya, Etam, Ecote and Pierre Cardin. The top floor of the mall section was a giant arcade area with a bowling section and food places like KFC and Pizza Hut. After we were done with the mall, we walked around the city some more and ended by eating ice cream before it started raining like crazy. When I got home, I knocked out.

Day 3:
Woke up super early to go to temple. We went with a couple of people. The first temple was inside of this neighborhood. All of them were super fancy and ornate. We prayed and ate lunch and I took a bunch of pictures. The second temple was kind of in the woods. It wasn't as nice as the first one because it looked run down, but the statues and stuff were still gorgeous. The last temple was in a public area and a bunch of people were there. After that, we were all tired as mess and fell asleep on the way home. I slept at home and woke up for dinner before I went back to sleep.

Day 4:
Woke up to go to another temple. I was totally all prayed out at this point. The temple was in this neighborhood and it was a giant building. I met a BUNCH of my family members and it was pretty exciting. We talked a bit and then went to pray and eat lunch. Then all of a sudden, it hit me... I had to poop. So, I went to the bathroom and saw that it was just a little toilet IN the ground with no flushing. I will spare the details, but it was NOT pretty. We were done and called for a taxi, but none of them came. We realized that there were a bunch of taxis across the highway, so we trekked all the way there on a bridge. When we finally got there, we saw at least 3 taxis go into the neighborhood that we were just at and that on this side of the highway, there were no taxis at all. So, we ended up trekking ALL the way back across the highway and getting a ride home. I slept some more. Ate dinner. Went back to sleep.

xxxjohnny.

That awkward moment when you step into a communist country.

Location: Outside Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam (My Uncle's house)
Time: 6:03 AM
Date: June 3rd

Let me start off this blog by apologizing to the people who were at Incheon International Airport when I was there yesterday. Yes, I know escalator rails aren't meant to be sat on. Yes, I know I went into every store at least five times. Yes, I know there was that awkward moment when Donk played really loudly on my iPod and everyone stared. But, come on. Six hours of waiting. I could only take so much.

I also want to give a shoutout to Goon Squad: Vietnam. I knew there would be a connection between all of us when we meant at the ATL airport. That bond only grew as we landed in Korea and had to find gate 107. Little did I know that it would be such a painstaking task and that half of our group would end up lost, but we all ended up together. I will never forget you guys (specifically talking to you, boy with the blue plaid on plaid ensemble. I was totes jealous. Not very many people can wear that many shades of blue.)

Now, Dear Vietnam Airlines, can you not be ghetto? I know first impressions are important, and I was definitely offended when I stepped on board and smelled stink. Also, get like Korean Air, five people are not meant to be seated together in a row. That is the opposite of okay. And also, GIVE OUT MORE THAN ONE PAPER CUP OF WATER. I SWEAR TO GOD, IF I HAD PASSED OUT ON BOARD, I WOULD'VE SUED. Dehydration is NOT the business.

And of course, it would have to be Vietnam where you land in a random field, have to take a bus to the airport, use stairs because they don't believe in escalators, and be terrified of doing something wrong and getting arrested. There is so much more I would say, but I'll save it for later when I come back. Going to jail is not on my to-do list for the trip.

And as I rode to my uncle's house and got a good look at the city, I realized one thing.
The fastest way to make someone not take their life in America for granted: send them to a communist, third world country.

That's not to say that this trip is bad. I'm still enjoying every bit of it. My uncle's family is pretty cool and they provided us with a pretty kick ass room (with air conditioning, thank god) and I'm even though it may not have been what I expected, this is where I came from and that's one thing that I can't change.

xxxjohnny.