SOS.

Location: Dorm Room
Time: 1:11 AM
Date: January 26th

TOO SICK TO FUNCTION.
SEND HELP.
CRYING. WAH WAH.

That is all.

Still looking for a trapstar...

I'm pretty sure I have gotten every form of sickness in the world. I have been through having an abnormal birthmark, having asthma, having a heart problem, having swine flu, having pink eye... twice, having a cough that lasted all of high school, having blood that is weird, along with countless other medical problems. So, it should be no surprise that I'm sick again. I think it's just a cold and hopefully I'll feel fine soon.

Today was so-so. I felt pretty sick the majority of the day and I just wanted to sleep, but then when I tried taking a nap, it didn't work. In sociology, I swear the professor took the whole 50 minutes to explain the same concept 394234235 ways. Are you serious? It's ok though because he's old and the tests will probably be easy... at least it should be.

It rained like crazy too and I got soaked. I hate hate hate hate rain. I know some people like the rain and to just curl up in bed and relax, but I wish rain would die and leave forever. I picked up my Women's Studies' final research paper and I got a B-. Fuck that shit. No further comments...

Biology was good. I like it when I understand things especially in biology. Mythology was so boring. I started out good and took down notes, but I almost fell asleep towards the end. I'm so ready to be done with intro stuff.

After that, I hung out with Alexa and Berit for a few. It was nice to relax after a day of school. I did my laundry, ate dinner, and attempted to do some work. I hate homework. Why was it invented besides to ruin my life? Oh, except I read this really interesting article for sociology about vagina exams. Who knew that so much thought went into looking at vaginas?

Ugh, I have so much fucking work/reading/applications to do before time runs out. Instead of doing things, I just hung out in Dobbs with a few friends before getting in bed. Hanging out > homework/sleep. Actually... I kind of like sleep. So maybe hanging out > sleep > homework. Regardless, I'm probably going to be tired tomorrow. The cycle continues.

Oh hey, at least I have dance tomorrow.

xxjohnny.

I'm lazy and I need to exercise.

Location: Outside Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam
Time: 8:24 PM
Date: June 15th

MY FIRST PM POST!!!~!~!~!~!~!

Ok, now that that's out of the way. Yesterday and today have basically been my chillax day before I leave for another tour tomorrow. As you guys know, I have been feeling faint for the past couple of days and it has made me miserable! I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate being sick. Yesterday, I just stayed home and did nothing. I thought that maybe my body would have had a chance to fix itself and life would be all rainbow and sunshine. Wrong.

I still felt like crap today. The same fainting feeling and getting dizzy whenever I take a few steps. We decided to go to the doctors to make sure nothing was wrong and to get some medicine so that I would at least be a little bit better to go on the next two tours.

Ignorant me expected this hospital to be raggidy and sketchy. I was wrong. It was an international hospital and it was quite nice actually. It wasn't as big as the hospital back home, but it was still up to par. First, the doctor asked what was wrong, blah blah blah, etc. After I explained it to him, he checked my body, including pushing my stomach hard like 50 times and I swear to God, I was fixing to barf everywhere. After that, I went to go get some blood work done. I HATE SHOTS. Next, I went to get hooked up to some scary machine and get my heart read by a machine. Next, I went to go get an ultrasound check. I really don't know what they all had to do with me fainting, but apparently, they all connected. I went back to the doctor and he told me everything was normal and that I just had upset stomach problems. Ok, good.... but what about me fainting? Isn't that the reason I came in the first place. "Oh, you just need to exercise."

Oh. Ok.

So, tell me this universe. I feel like fainting all the time. The apparent way to fix this is to exercise. Whenever I try exercising, I feel like fainting. Thus, the endless circle continues.

Tomorrow is another tour, although in Vietnam and to the beach, so not as exhausting as Thailand and also a day less. Hopefully, I will be fine. Fingers crossed! I was told I could just stay in the hotel if I was feeling bad. I'm really just scared about the week long tour to China... Oh America, how I miss thee dearly.

ps: Also rode a honda scooter around vietnam to go to the doctors. I'm too legit to quit.

pps: Did 120 situps while watching How I Met Your Mother. Take that, sickness.

xxxjohnny.

The story on why I missed the ladyboy show, my conversation with God, and how I survived Thailand.

Location: Outside Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam
Time: 9:57 AM
Date: June 14th

The time had finally came. It was time for the ladyboy show to start. This had been the moment I've been waiting for forever. Whenever I think of Thailand, this is the first thing I think about. It was finally time to get a taste of the most fascinating part of Thai culture.

Then, it hit me. I started getting hot, my legs felt like jelly and the room started spinning. I knew I was about to faint. The first thing I did was go to the restroom. My stomach had been hurting like a bit, so I figured maybe I just needed to poop. Nothing came out and I was still dizzy. Maybe I was dehydrated. I went to go get water only to have them tell me I had to pay and I had no money. I went to find my family in the audience and that's when I started having a panic attack. My voice started shaking and I knew it was a matter of time before I would faint. My mom led me to the bathroom again. Still nothing. I got out and we walked outside to get fresh air. I laid down on a bench while my mom tried calling the tour guides, while I kept on repeating that I needed to go to the hospital. I was dizzy, hot, tired, weak, and terrified. Here I am, in a completely foreign country, about to faint from who knows what. Most people don't know english and I didn't know thai. If something was seriously wrong, what could I do? Laying on the park bench, halfway concious, I started talking to god.

"Hey God... Uh, It's me Johnny. So, I know I always told you that I'd be ready for you to take me when the time was right, but I still think I need more time. I'm not ready to go. I mean, I'm in a different country and all. How would my friends find out? They're not even expecting me to be back until July and I don't think my family could handle this right now. And I need to go to Emory! All that stress and anxiety, I don't think this should be my time. But it's all up to you. I'm scared, but whatever you think is right is right. If it's my time to go, then I'll go."

It may seem overdramatic, but I don't think anyone can truly understand how horrifying it felt. To be sick and not know why in a country where people can barely understand you. To not know where a hospital is or to even be able to tell someone what was wrong. Honestly and truly, I felt that at that point, I would die. And that's not something that you come to a conclusion about easily. And throughout all of this, the only thing I could think about was James. I knew that if the worst possible thing happened, that at least I would be able to see him again. And as terrified as I was, this thought gave me strength and calmed me down. Whatever happened happened, and whether I got better or worst, I would end up happy either way.

That's when I started sobbing like crazy, as I thought about James and how scared I was about what would happened. I ended up getting some medicine from my tour guide who went to a pharmacy and taking a taxi back to the hotel where I relaxed. The remaining two days consisted of me waving in and out of feeling faint and having horrible stomach pain. The fainting could be because I wasn't eating enough, or drinking enough water or just not getting enough sleep even though I thought I was doing all of those things. Everyone said the stomach problems were because I didn't digest properly because I wasn't used to the food there or maybe it was because I was constipated. Either way, I do feel better than I did when I started getting sick, but I'm still not all the wa fine. With two more tours left, I hope it doesn't get that bad again.

As for the rest of the Thailand tour, it was pretty fun. Thailand is a beautiful country that reminded me a lot like America, minus all the Asian-y stuff about it. The most memorable moments were when I rode an elephant at some show and got picked up by it's trunk, when we went to the beach and took a speed boat to a platform where I parasailed around and then took the speed boat to a little area and just chilled at the beach, when I saw that AMAZING show the first day we were there, and just being able to walk around the malls and outside and seeing how similar and different America was to Thailand. I had the most AMAZING tour group and it feels weird waking up and not seeing them after spending all this time together. Everyone and everything will truly be missed (minus the sick parts) and I had a great time. With that being said, I am ready to be back in America, but I still have a ways to go.

And dear ladyboy show, it was evident that it was not my time to go see you this time, but believe me when I say, I'll be back.

Sawasdee Thailand

xxxjohnny.